tables turned

so it was a strange sensation, this complete lack of interest. usually when i hear someone is interested in me, i get the whole fleet of symptoms - butterflies, nervousness, goofy smile, inability to compose coherent sentences - (and when i say "usually" here, i don't really mean that, as this event occurs infrequently. actually, i could count the number of times on one hand... but i digress - back to the story)... so yes, i had no reaction to this news, which was bemusing.

because what goes through my head, when this has occured before is: "really? she likes *me*? you're not just taking the piss? well, that's interesting, because i've always had a little something for her..." - i can't resist people who are attracted to me.

not this time, though. to tell the truth, it was slightly irritating. i mean, how on earth did this girl expect me to have any feelings for her when she's not anywhere near as passionate as i am about the things i love? she could never understand the anticipation of downloading a new live song by my favourite band, watching the 'time remaining:' counter tick down, never get the idea of buying the same album on different formats - because you *have* to have the vinyl, look how much prettier it is, never comprehend spending afternoons browsing through record shops, just for the sake of it.

she obviously didn't actually like *me*, she couldn't have - she didn't know me, it was some idea of me. which is flattering, nonetheless, but - no. sorry. ok, i realise i'm the one at fault here, i'm an indie snob, i find it hard to converse to any real degree with people who don't eat/sleep/breathe/sweat music, it's my fault - but i don't apologise for this. it's who i am.