a thought which occured to me whilst sitting in a cafe in montreal

it's been a long time since i've felt someone else's fingers entwined in mine, their arm around my waist, their lips on my neck, and despite my indications to the contrary, i'm craving this. yes, i've said "oh, i'm not that bothered" and "i've no problems with being single" but that's all lies. i'm aware that i've been deliberately lying to myself and so it gets quite confusing, i've become lost in my self-conscious rationalising.

but regardless, it's all utter shite, this pretense. a squeeze of the hand, an infectious smile, a touch of the lips... is it too much to ask?