an unused card

i had been intending to send her a valentine's card, despite the fact we were no longer together. clearly, a "typical" card would be utterly crass, even at the best of times, never mind the fact that this situation called for something more discrete.

the message i would write inside would have to be brief, to the point, not open to interpretation - my intention was just to say 'you're still important to me' - so i needed to choose my words with care.

i got a card, thought about what i was going to say, and was about to write it when i thought: why am i doing this? it occured to me that the only reason i was doing this was because it was almost *expected* - nothing would be gained. thinking back over the past few months... this would come to no good. my energies should be directed somewhere else, somewhere which will lead to new, exciting possibilities. i should not be doing making a gesture like this just out of habit.

so the card sits in my drawer, blank, never to be sent. are you still important to me?